Videogames are powerful in the sense that they are able to provide a new reality to experience and play. I’m sure we all have nostalgic memories of our favorite games. Certain levels or in game moments can even conjure up memories of previous points in our lives upon replaying.
Recently I was looking through my old laptop files and found my save for The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past that I was playing on an emulator. I was a pretty far into the game, and would’ve probably completed it if I hadn’t stopped playing. I remember I just finished the Ice Palace and was stuck on how to progress. In my lack of progress I had completed multiple side quests to become more powerful. I decided that I was close enough to finish so I might as well.
I looked up a quick walkthrough and began where I left off on my way to the Misery Mire. It was nice to get back into the flow of using the grappling hook, solving puzzles, and slaying foes that came across my path. After completing more than half the dungeon and dying I decided to make a save state at the beginning of the temple and go to bed. That way I could start where I left off in the morning before work. However I made a mistake.
I had accidentally pressed the “load save state” hotkey instead, and loaded up a save state I made as a kid at the beginning of the Ice Palace. I closed the emulator and reloaded but this ended up locking in the save state to my regular game save. This save was way farther back in the game with me having lost an unbearable amount of progress. Yet, I decided to persist and complete the Ice Palace, something I wish I hadn’t done at all.
From the first room in the dungeon to the next I was overwhelmed by awful memories from my childhood. My parents arguing loudly, saying awful things to each other and about me. I remember being able to deal with it at first but having to turn up my volume as it got worse and I got farther into the dungeon. I remember the sound failed to mute out my parents as the fight got louder and the screaming got intense, and the tears blurred my vision to the point where I might as well have been playing on a low-res CRT.
Needless To Say, I WILL NOT BE FINISHING THE GAME AND FACING THOSE MEMORIES.
6 Comments
Firstly, good sir, I am deeply and truly sorry that such a magnificent and beautiful work of art awakened such dastardly memories within you.
Secondly, I would argue this and this alone. If playing this wonderful game was able do awaken such powerful negative memories then surely it is able to do the exact opposite.
Perhaps restart the game from fhe beginning with a dedicated focus on what you loved about this game and the good tender memories you hold.
Much love, fellow Gamer. May you find love and peace through a new lense with a beloved game.
Perhaps, however I feel this plan falls apart when I gotta do the Ice Palace again.
I belive in your resolve!!
Had a similar experience playing the game OMORI, but I must like the pain as I keep going back to it. Also, remember, you are not that kid anymore. That was something that helped me a lot to deal with memories like that. You are not that kid.
Amen, Gamer.
Im completely biased since zelda happens to me in my top 3 favorite franchises and the pink haird link being near rhe top of favorites as well.
Ive had similar flash backs to harder times because of games and other forms of media.
I personally think its best to power through it. Overcome the challenge. Zelda games have never been the most challenging but life changes games as much as games change life.
All the hard times in life feel like they last forever until youre living in that forfun momment and live seems livable. We hardly remember the bad times until were reminded of them.
We must have COURAGE and WISDOM to POWER through